That is a phrase I learned from one of my photography mentors, John Heyn, and it’s always stuck with me. It really is a rule to live by when you’re shooting weddings. Weddings are one of the happiest days of the bride and groom’s life and the last thing you want them remembering you for is you getting frustrated, being annoyed, stressed out or impatient. I’ve seen photographers first hand who didn’t know how to apply this golden rule and not only did the bride and groom see the faces the photographer was making behind their backs to her assistant, but it really made them uncomfortable and overall showed a tremendous lack of professionalism.

I shot a wedding last weekend with Erin H, and this wedding was littered with unprofessionalism and crazy happenings. The limo driver came in the church in the middle of the full Catholic Mass asking when they were done because it was 3:00 and he was only booked until 3:30pm. I told him I was pretty sure that the mass would last at least another 20 mins and then the reception hall was 20 mins away. To which he replied, “Well when you get a chance, could you let them know that if they go overtime, it’s a couple hundred dollars per half hour and I have to be somewhere at 6.” Are you kidding me?! What did he think I was going to do? Walk up during communion so I could pass them on the way back and talk to them about their limo? Not to mention I wasn’t going to do his dirty work besides…but how rude!

Secondly, the videographer that we worked with told me, in the typical small talk convos us vendors have, that he hates shooting weddings and only does it for the money. Um, wow…that sucks. Granted, I think you can be good at what you’re doing without having a passion for it, but when I saw him walking around the dance floor with the camera up in the air pointing at the crowd while he was looking elsewhere not even paying attention to what he was shooting, I saw that it was not the case with him.

Oh…it keeps going….

Then came the family and bridal pary pictures. Last minute, they were moved from after the church to during cocktail hour, which is a recipe for disaster because anyone who has to choose between food and alcohol and posing for pictures is going to choose the food and alcohol. So family pictures were taken one every 3-4 minutes because everytime we need another person they had to be hunted down. Even the bridal party wasn’t too helpful. I was actually in the middle of taking a picture of all of the guys, and one left to go chase down a crab cake!

The DJ, who when we first met seemed like he knew what he was doing, went MIA at the time of introductions. We found out later, after the bridal party was introduced 45 mins (yes, 45 mins) late into the reception, that he was in the office downloading the father-daughter dance song…um, are you serious???

And last, but not least, the caterer. The reception location was an old mansion, so the bride and groom brought in a caterer for the event. When it was time for dinner, we went into the kitchen to try and find our meals since we were not seated in the tent so we figured we were meant to eat in the kitchen. When we got there, there was a poor worker sweating profusely because she was running around like a lunatic from the kitchen down to the outside tent. She referred us to the head chef when we asked about dinner. Are you ready for this?? “I don’t think we have enough food for you guys. She told me 150 people so I made food for 150 people and there are 150 people and they’re eating like lions out there . I’m running out of food so after we’re done serving them, we’ll see if there’s any leftover to give you.” Ok, I might not be in the food industry, but when there’s 150 people attending, I assume that you make food for way more than that. I mean, when I work an 8 hour wedding, I don’t bring batteries for only 8 hours, I bring enough for two days! We did eat in the long run, but only because we stood in the buffet line because there was no way we weren’t eating after working for 8 hours!

Now, the point in all of this isn’t to bash anyone (which is why I’m not mentioning names), the point is that although all of this was going on and Erin and I knew about all of it, we made sure that the bride and groom didn’t and that instead of passing on the worries and frustrations to them, they were able to enjoy every minute of their wedding worry-free and having the time of their lives.

So just a word of advise, a really good business practice no matter what field you’re in, never let them see you sweat. It’ll help keep your clients happy and you’ll be happy yourself being able to manage the things that come your way by keeping a positive outlook and not letting those occupational hazards get to you on the job. I think that type of attitude is something that all brides should look for in their vendors as well. Don’t hire someone you can see getting stressed out easily, hire people that know what they’re doing and have an upbeat personality so that your wedding day will be perfect even if everything doesn’t go perfectly.

~Vj